Just Joking Cousins

     One of the most standout and enviable aspects of Malian culture is that of their Joking Cousin Relationships.  There are over 50 ethnicities with 13 local languages living and working together within Mali.  As many of us know through experience, it is often challenging trying to work with 2 or 3 conflicting ethnicities which each come with their own culture and therefore ideas about life, business and love.  We also know that having this diversity can add a special something extra to any situation and I think that is how Mali has decided to frame a potentially hostile situation.  The Joking Cousins Relationship was established with the primary purpose of easing these inevitable tensions in situations in and outside the workplace.  Names, especially last names, are incredibly important in Malian culture.  A name can reveal a person’s religion, your family or ancestral language, and most importantly for this post, your ethnicity.  Being that my Malian name is Fanta Goita one would assume upon meeting me that I am a Muslim and that my first language is Minnianka.  Obviously, this is not a full proof equation, but it does tell the person I was introduced to whether or not my ethnicity is one he can use to call me a ‘bean-eater’ and in doing so induce a fit of laughter on both sides. 
    Yes, I do like beans, and quite a bit since they are a great source of protein for me since I eat little meat here, so you could see how I was initially confused as to why being called a ‘bean-eater’ may be an insult and/or as humorous as Malians seem to find it.  Well, if someone is designated – based on last name and therefore ethnicity – as your joking cousin, you are then free to throw every insult you can creatively muster their way and what you will receive in return will be similarly strange insults accompanied by full bully laughter and big toothless orange (dyed from eating too many kolonuts) smiles!  So lets give an example:  So my last name is Goita so if I meet someone who is a Traore, a Dembele or a Coulibaly I can greet them by telling them they eat beans (and therefore fart which, surprise, surprise, this fastidiously patriarchal society find fart jokes hilarious – just sayin’), that they drink bathroom water (especially revolting if you understand the bathroom situation here), or that I’ve recently named my donkey after them!  If your last name is Coulibaly you are lucky (or unlucky depending upon your personal disposition) enough to be able to joke with everyone.  My friends who were deemed Coulibaly because that is what the last name of their host family was during training got to immediately experience how exhausting this interaction can get.  Some friends have endless insults stored in their back pockets for when these occasions arise because their last names, like Coulibaly or Diallo, invite lots of banter, but mine is a pretty uncommon last name so my joking know-how/vocabulary is mildly limited. 
     This concept was one of the first introduced to us during our training as, beyond all the fun and silliness, it really can be a useful tool in getting yourself out of a potentially uncomfortable situation.  If a taxi driver is being persistent that you agreed on a price that you find too high and incorrect and you can see that he is getting visibly agitated because of it, sometimes just asking if he is a Coulibaly will start the joking dance and can get you the correct price or at least out of the way of a yelling match!  This also works if your bashe or bus is pulled over by the authorities so they can garner bribe money from all the passengers currently riding because your driver doesn’t have the correct documentation for driving the vehicle you are currently in.  I often also use this while bargaining at the market, on a less intense scale.  There are even instances of not having to pay at all when a money collector learns you have a last name ‘related’ to his.Once you see the way it works day in and day out and the obvious release of tension that comes with swinging that first insult you understand the extreme benefit this has for the Malian people in allowing a simple interaction to keep the peace in their country. 
    Malian people grow up instinctively knowing who they can and cannot joke with in this way.  They also take it seriously enough that there are superstitions around marriage between certain joking cousin relationships and it is thought that these marriages will be doomed from the start and will be ruined in some fashion or another through divine intervention.  Us American, on the other hand, were given an extensive list of all the known last names in Mali and which last names we could appropriately joke with in our time here.  The interesting thing is that if you are in one of those sticky situations and you learn the other party is not one of your joking cousins, you can still give it a try and it will sometimes still work wonders just because they like and respect the practice so much.  I also think that being an American, speaking in Bambara, and being aware of these customs gives me, and my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers, a huge leg up in the relations we have with the Malian people.  As much as I would have loved to learn it, I don’t think telling a cabbie he’s a ‘bean-eater’ in French would have quite the same impact!